Up-to-the minute statistics and color commentary from the 2017 Clinical and Health Psychology Quality of Life Bowling Tournament
Submitted by Quality of Life Committee Chair, Duane Dede
2017 CHP QOL BOWLING TOURNAMENT
32 bowlers toed the line at Alley Gatorz Lanes in this year’s Clinical & Health Psychology Quality of Life Bowling Tournament on 4/22/17. Six teams competed for the coveted paper CHP certificate, many with weary feet after marching for science earlier. After a few minutes of practice and two hours of competition, there were several strikes, some very creative shots, lots of laughs and at least 32 lives with increased quality. Here is the order of finish and highlights:
KELLYANNE & THE ALTERNAIVE STRIKES-1619
After suffering a loss in last year’s bowling tournament, these suitemates came together to make CHP bowling great again. This team was headlined by Lisa “KellyAnne” Clifford, who won Best Dressed Individual in a landslide. With her magical red hat, she improved 50 pins over the two games. She tweeted that she bowled 410 each game, but these “facts” were later denied by Mr. Spicer. The Alternative Strikes were led by Duane Dede (High Male Bowler) and Mike Sampson (2nd High Male Bowler). Glenn Ashkanazi got better with each frame, especially when he wore KellyAnne’s hat. Glenn’s son, Jason, earned the unorthodox Best Bowler under 18 award AND Male Bowler Statistically Most Likely to Improve.
JOHN BOWLBY’S-1568
These talented bowlers “attached” to each other to form a strongly bonded team and take second place. Captain Kendra Krietsch led by example with a strong first game of 195 and then set up her teammates for the strong finish. Beth Kacel improved 67 pins over the two games, recording a 223 in the second game (3rd highest female bowler). Beth’s years of Yoga allowed her to debut her patented “reverse granny roll, with a side of bumpers.” Larry Burrell peaked in the first game with 191, and was missing in action for the second game. Defending champions Loren Hizel and Rob Henderson apparently did too much celebrating after their last CHP win to answer the bell this time. Bennie was a stable force on this team and is already organizing a practice schedule for the team to be ready for the next tournament.
ID, EAGLE AND SUPEREAGLE 1- 1473
This half of the dynamic duo of Super S/Hero first year team was recognized as the best first year team. Lise De Wit (pictured in flight above) led the way and was recognized as the High Female Bowler. Katja Hillbrandt made her CHP debut with a very strong performance. Elle Wiggins was steady and improved as time went on. Deidre O’Shea and Jessica Zakrewski were so excited to put on her red cape that their bowling fell off a little bit the second game.
PAVLOV’S DAWGS-1457
These’s canines proved that they are not only conditioned to salivate, but were conditioned to compete in very creative garb. The squad barked their way to Best Dressed Team in a unanimous vote. Andrew “Loosey Goosey” Guzik led the way for this these talented pooches. Josh Stewart had the next highest score on the team followed by Elle “Illuminati” Markman. Jana “Notorious J.B.E.” Belser-Erlich improved 57 pins from her first game. Hoa “DJ Hoa Thai” Schneider also improved 31 pins over her first game and was mixing beats to “Who let the dogs out” to celebrate the team’s performance. Team captain Janelle “Lil Letz” Letzen decided to end her CHP tournament career with the award of Female Most Statistically Likely to Improve after only knocking down 193 pins over the two games.
ID, EAGLE, SUPEREAGLE A-1345
The remaining super s/heros landed on the lanes to conquer the pins. Janae Kirsch led these defenders of the bowling way, stepping up by adding 64 pins to her first game. Abe Eastman and Leslie Gaynor were next in team scores. Team captain Danielle Wesolowicz not only led the Cupid Shuffle but recruited these caped marvels, included the most spirited team member Vivi Bauman, who was last seen getting Jiggy with it after her strikes.
BOWLING GANGLIA-1237
Our last group of competitors did double duty. After walking in the local March for Science, they bowled for certificates. They also tested several scientific theories. Their first evidenced-based fact was that bowling is NOT the learned motor activity in which they will be most recognized, as this team won Team Statistically Most Likely to Improve. Team Captain and Principal Investigator Talia Seider led these scholars. Sarah Szymkowicz and Jackie Maye used their knowledge of neuroanatomy to design the study, and to occasionally knock down a few pins. Sarah Greif showed that she not only stood for science, but was also committed to leaving as many pins as possible left standing. The last member of this multitalented squad was Lindsay Rotblatt, who is clearly the statistician of the group. Lindsay literally proposed that future participants be given their own weighted regression equation, correcting for less bowling experience. Stay tuned for this publication!